Fish, Passwords, and Riku, Oh my!
by doodlebook
Summary: One day, he would be able to leave at least, that's what he liked to think . The day he escaped would be the last day of Sora's life. The kid was a complete nutcase. Roxas POV, Roxas is stuck in Sora's mind, crackish, gen, oneshot.


A/N: Okay, so another oneshot. Another post-KHII Roxas-is-trapped stories. Brilliant source of angst, but that's only because Roxas is making it that way.

I guess... a disclaimer is good? Do I actually need one? Its obvious that the characters are not actually created by me, but by SquareEnix and Disney.

Anyways, read. Review (those are nice). Laugh at the story because its funny, or because its so horrible that its amusing. Either way, have fun reading. :D

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One day, he would be able to leave (at least, that's what he liked to think). And the day he escaped would be the last day of Sora's life.

The kid was a complete _nutcase_.

---------  
Roxas hates Sora. Not that it is Sora's fault entirely, but Roxas still likes to believe that he will somehow hack his way out of Sora's mind and into the real world. The _sane_ world.

The sane world is a nice place. There are no schools of singing fish, no jack-o-lanters bobbing around instead of lamps, and only _one_ Riku. He never wants to see a pot of honey ever again, nor does he want to hear (he blasts his music, but it _is _Sora's mind and they end up louder than everything else) the two hundred fifty-second rendition of "Under the Sea" by the choir of "Atlantican Idol" rejects. He encountered a foreign merchant the other day who had tried to sell him a teapot (he had called it a lamp, but Roxas knew there was no way in hell that was a lamp), and just yesterday, a tall blue man with a long, pointy chin asked Roxas if he had seen any blue or red midgets around. The man seemed amazingly unconcerned that his head was on fire. 

_---------__  
_Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is going to set in. Roxas bets with himself, trying to guess how long it will take. Because all he does now is sit at a stupid computer and try to find a way out. He knows he has been put as data into Sora's mind (or something like that; he hadn't really been paying attention that much when DiZ was talking to him), so he tries to find a way out. He isn't a computer geek like Pence is (was? is? He has no idea anymore), but he isn't completely oblivious either. Right now, he is stuck on a blue screen. 

PASSWORD: ()

He had (after some extreme hacking and programing) reached this screen. Today is his tenth day of guessing passwords.

PASSWORD: (KEYBLADE)  
(X) THIS PASSWORD IS INCORRECT

PASSWORD: (ILOVEKAIRI)  
(X) THIS PASSWORD IS INCORRECT

PASSWORD: (SORAISAWESOME)  
(X) THIS PASSWORD IS INCORRECT

PASSWORD: (UNDERTHESEA)  
(X) THIS PASSWORD IS INCORRECT

_Gahhhhh..._

PASSWORD: (IHEARTRIKU)  
(X) THIS PASSWORD IS INCORRECT

PASSWORD: (LETMEOUT)  
(X) THIS PASSWORD IS INCORRECT

PASSWORD: (DAMNYOUSORA)  
(X) THIS PASSWORD IS INCORRECT

_Damn you, Sora!_

After around three hours of guessing what kinds of passwords Sora would set up, Roxas grew frustrated. As usual. He was going to take a break and look for some cheesecake or ice cream (preferably sea-salt), until he heard something.

Singing.

Growing louder and louder, the wave of sound crashed onto his ears.

"...sea, under the sea! Darling it's better, down where it's wetter..."

"Ohhh, fuck you!" Roxas says irritably. The singing becomes louder and louder, and the floor underneath his feet trembles.

"...ME, UP ON THE SHORE THEY WORK ALL DAY, OUT--"

Something in Roxas snapped.  
"ARGHHHHHHH!! SHUT UP, YOU FREAKIN' CRABS! I SWEAR TO GOD, SORA, YOU ARE THE MOST FU-"

He yelled and swore at the top of his lungs, trying to become louder than the fish, but they sang louder and louder. Roxas became angry. And when he became angry, well...

"-ST **SCREWED** **UP** PERSON IN THE **ENTIRE** FREAKIN' WORLD AND I AM GOING TO **KILL** YOU WITH MY KEYBLADE ONCE I--huh?"

He stared at the keyblade (which had magically appeared) in his hand. The singing disapeared, but he didn't notice.

_The keyblade opens any lock_.

Roxas had no idea where it came from, but he was _not_ going to wonder about that. Yet.

Face still red from yelling, Roxas pointed the tip of the key at the computer, waiting for a beam of light or _something_ to unlock his path to freedom.

_Something_...

After five minutes passed, he figured there was no point to it. Disappointed, he sat down on the tree stump in front of the computer. _Why won't it work? Damn... _

_---------__  
_Riku walked past him, whistling happily. Roxas didn't want to know why he was _whistling_, of all things. Roxas continued to stare glumly at the computer screen. 

Five minutes later, Riku walked by Roxas again. This time, he had a blindfold on. Roxas watched as Riku walked into the doorframe.

As Roxas was watching blindfolded Riku try to stand up, another Riku came around the corner, wearing a grey skirt and a suit with the symbol of the Heartless on it. Skirt Riku helped Blind Riku stand up, and then he asked Roxas if he would "like to join us (and the choir, of course) at a fancy tea party (as they were celebrating Ariel's Un-Birthday), if you please."

"No. NO. Please, go _away_. And take Riku with you, while you're at it."

"But why don't you want to go? It'll be a lot of fun..." whispered a voice near his ear. Roxas whipped his head around, and almost got his nose bit off by a third (or fourth? fifth?) Riku.

Who was very, very naked. And sitting on Roxas' lap.

"Oh my GOD! GET OFF ME." Roxas tries to stand up, but Riku is extremely heavy (and naked. NAKED. Roxas wants to wash his eyes out with antibacterial soap). He suddenly remembers he has a keyblade in his right hand. He raises it threateningly ("OFF"), and Naked Riku stands up angrily.

"_Fine_. I'm _going_. Hmph." He struts off with his nose high in the air. Before he exits the room, he turns around and smiles (leers) at Roxas. "I'll be back soon, though. Bye, Roxie."

Blind Riku is still on the floor. He moans phrases like "My head..." and "Help". Roxas doesn't care, because he's rather pissed and fears for his virginity. He stands up and raises the keyblade high above his head...

---------

"Oh...my.. god." Sora drops down and clutches his head. Kairi and Riku run back to Sora, who is suddenly kneeling on the beach with his hair burried in the sand. "Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Gaaaaaaaah..." He trails off. Riku guessed his friend was reacting dramatically to brain freeze. That, or Sora's Nobody was attacking his brain in a desperate bid for freedom (Heh).

Riku and Kairi weren't really concerned until Sora started to radiate light.

Riku was slow to react.

"Uhmm.. Kairi? Is it just me, or--"

Kairi had already stumbled backwards a few yards. "Whoa..."

There was one last flash, and the light was gone.

Well, not entirely.

It traveled to one spot a few feet away, taking shape and solidifying into a teenager with a keyblade and lopsided hair.

Sora's headache stopped abruptly. He looked up slowly and saw two blue eyes looking back at him.

Roxas grinned widely, madly, crazily.

Sora was suddenly very, very afraid.


End file.
